Thursday, February 19, 2015

When Tiramisu Steals Your Worship

Let's be honest, folks. I'm a little ADD. (Not diagnosed or anything, but I probably could be.)

I actually had this blog written in my head on Monday. And have stared at the ipad intending to write it since then.  And have found other things to distract me every single time.

UGH.

What were we talking about?

Tiramisu. Right.

One of my favorite things to do is worship. I love when the world stops its craziness for a little while and we get to corporately focus our eyes on God. I love my alone time in worship as well for the same reason. I love that I get to be in two worship services on Sunday mornings, giving everything I have.

But sometimes, I think about Tiramisu.

This past Sunday was a great day. I was excited about worship and knew that it was going to be powerful. In the first service I was singing and suddenly realized that I wasn't thinking about the words, about God, about anything along those lines. I was thinking about the Tiramisu I had made the day before.

At that point I had two choices: to recenter my thoughts or to feel condemned. Usually I fall into the second habit, the one where all of a sudden my praise becomes questioned.

I wonder if I was really engaged or if it was just habit. I wonder if the congregation knows that a person they thought was genuinely leading was just drooling over a dessert. I wonder if what I was doing was really pointless because I wasn't actually paying attention. But that morning I came to the understanding that tiramisu was not stealing my worship. Condemnation was.

I believe firmly that God knew what He was doing when He made me. I believe that He knows my ins and outs. He knows that I sometimes struggle with concentration. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 139:13

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!"

That was from the NLT version. Only the first sentence is verse 13, but sometimes the bible is just too good to stop at one verse.

One of my passions is knitting and crocheting, and I love the imagery from that first verse. I can see God touching every stitch of my being; lovingly making sure that I am formed beautifully and wonderfully.

So God knows. He knows that I'm slightly ADD. He knows that sometimes my thoughts are going to wander. And so He calls me back. He calls me out of the daze when I'm thinking about Tiramisu (or whatever!) and calls me back to worship. It's when I allow the other thoughts to enter in and distract me that I am letting other things steal my worship.

God is jealous for our love. Jealous for our affection. Because He knows that in Him alone is there truly fullness of joy, fullness of life, fullness of love. And He longs to shower that affection on us.

So don't let self-condemnation steal your worship. Thinking about Tiramisu? Cool. Once you realize it, recenter your thoughts on God and God alone.

And then later, go eat a big piece of that dessert.

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