All right, so ... an update since my last blog. I have had mono for a while now, and let me tell you, it stinks. Thankfully my case hasn't been as severe as it could have been, but it still landed me on what I like to refer as "house arrest." I actually couldn't even work the Encounter - something I was REALLY looking forward to.
When I found out that I couldn't work the Encounter at all, I was pretty upset. I was angry and confused as to why God would let me get mono. I really didn't know why He had put me on the Encounter team in the first place, since He knew that I would get this disease. So here are a few things I learned right off the bat: God is good. Yes, He knew I would get sick, but He had a plan even then. And He did let me be on the initial team, which showed me His love. Honestly if I had not been on the team at all I probably would have been very hurt. So even though I couldn't work it, God was still showing me His love. Ok, so that took only about 30 minutes of ranting and raving to God for Him to break through with. Here's what the rest of the weekend was like for me:
I talked to Pr. Scott and Gina, who both told me that they strongly felt like this time was a time for me and God to have our own private encounter and work through some of the crap that had been going on in my life. And no, they didn't talk about this beforehand and had no idea that the other person was going to talk to me, much less knowing what each other was going to say. So I knew that God was trying to get my attention and I had better listen.
Friday night the Ramp had its service, so I sat down and watched it. And got my butt KICKED. Pretty badly, I might add. I have been through a lot of stuff recently (that I talked about in my last blog) and had been feeling like I was giving up a lot of stuff without getting much in return. I had done ABC and D, so God needed to do EFG and H for me. Haha ...
Damon Thompson talked about the rich young ruler and how he came to Jesus, asking how he could enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus' response was :"One thing you lack. Go, sell your possessions and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Jesus said he would have treasure in heaven, not on earth. Not that God doesn't give good gifts to His children, but where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Would I rather have my heart in the money I have on earth or wrapped up in God's heart in heaven? Jesus also extended an invitation to the young man to come and follow Him. What the HECK. He only extended that invitation to a few people in the Bible (something like 12, if you get my gist.) This man missed an incredible opportunity. I do NOT want to miss the same opportunity. Am I really so concerned with getting what I want? Do I really want something that isn't used for His glory?
There are so many things that I would love to have in this life: a husband, children, to be debt free, a good job, a good car, etc. But why do I want these things? I really need to lay them down before God if He is to use them for His glory. I could ask for a husband so I won't be lonely and I'll have someone to constantly affirm me, or I could ask for a husband so we can make a greater impact for His kingdom and show others what a holy marriage is supposed to look like. I could ask for children so I can pour my life into them and find my value in their acceptance or I can ask for children so that they can be raised in the power of God to shake the nations and win them for Christ. I could ask for God to give me opportunities to speak so that people will love me or so that I can tell as many people about the freedom found in Christ. You see what I mean?
I'm not saying that I have this perfect by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I do believe that I am in a better position than I was. Why? Because I took off my blinders and looked at the plank in my eye. And dangit, I want that sucker GONE.
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