What a ride ...

What a roller coaster of a ride I have been on recently. The events of my life seem to be spinning out of control ... and yet, I'm closer to God than I have ever been before. In the good times and the bad, I have come to a place where I know that I know that I know that He is worthy of all glory and honor. He has never left me or forsaken me, and I wouldn't be anywhere if He had given up on me.

This past year has been utterly ridiculous. I have held 4 different jobs. I worked at a daycare until March, started David's Bridal under the assumption that I would have anywhere from 20-30 hours a week, and stopped working because they literally had no hours to give me. I then worked at an NPO from April until September, when they shut their doors. I went across the street to another bridal business and that was a nightmare. I only worked there for about a month and a half and I haven't worked there since because they don't have any hours to give me either. And as of now I'm still on the job hunt.


At the end of June I went on a blind date and ended up in a relationship I should not have been in. I won't go into details, but it took me until the end of September to really call it off. During that time I pulled back from everyone (especially God) and have struggled with guilt since then. I praise God that He kept me from making some major mistakes in that relationship, but I had to learn some tough lessons from it.

This year I also battled with being sick a lot, including a bought with mono when I was supposed to be working a youth retreat with my church that I was really looking forward to. And no, I have no idea how I got mono. Apparently you can contract it any number of ways, including from a water fountain and from touching door handles. Yup.

And then the biggest blow I have received this year: my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer a few days before Christmas. No, I don't know the date she was diagnosed, nor do I want to. We are now waiting to see how to proceed from here.

So all of that to say: my year has been crazy. A roller coaster ride. But here's the thing; I'm closer to God now more than I have ever been. I know that He is Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I know that He holds me in the palm of His hand, and that nothing that happened to me was a surprise to Him. He has forgiven me for that relationship and I can either live under the guilt of what happened or choose to move from there and teach others how not to make the same mistake. I have learned to praise Him in the good times and the bad. There are things inside of myself that I saw and didn't like, and He has revealed to me the source of those nasty things. So I am taking care of them!

I am also excited about what the future brings - I know that He has a job for me which will exceed my expectations and be a chance to minister to others. I am starting Grad school on the 16th of this month and am so excited (and incredibly scared!) about it. I am finally moving forward in my calling to be a counselor! WOO HOO!!! I am also a part of JAT (Jaguars Against Trafficking) and am so excited about what we have done/are going to do. And I love that I am getting unique opportunities to minister to others in ways that I never would have imagined.

I have so much more to say, but I think I'll save it for at least tomorrow. =)