The Desire to Read

Last night I realized that I rarely ever read my Bible. I've gotten into the habit of just talking to God and praying and maybe reading a Christian book and thinking that it's enough. But last night I wanted more. I wanted to read my Bible to grow closer to God, not to fill some chore that I have to do every day.

I have this Bible reading schedule right next to my bed that has a chapter from the Old Testament, and chapter from the New Testament, a chapter from Psalms, and a few verses from Proverbs for every day. I was only going to read the Old Testament since it was 2am, but I couldn't put the Bible down until I was done reading everything, and I was also excited to wake up this morning and read some more. Buuut ... I have this early morning problem.

You see when I wake up in the morning, my thoughts are less than rational. In fact, they're downright WEIRD. I tend to think that the whole world is watching me, waiting for me to get up. So I talk to them. In my head, of course, because not only are they watching me but they can also read my mind. So I usually give them all these facts about why I can push the snooze button several times and have it be ok. Which it rarely is. I just don't realize this until I'm out of bed and discover that I have no time to get ready. Like this morning. I had enough time to do everything BUT read my Bible. I was upset but grabbed my Bible and journal and put them in my purse, hoping for the most boring job at the center this morning.

I work at the Early Learning Center on Monday and Wednesday mornings, collecting data for a research project with Dr. Chiang. For the past few weeks we have been interviewing kids and I have had the most boring job: the Door Keeper. I normally hate this job because all I do is prevent little kids from going into a kitchen area when they are in a free play time during the interview and there aren't any adults (besides me) in the room. I have to sit on the floor out of sight of the kids, and usually only interact with one child a day. I normally hate this job, but I desperately wanted the job today. I wanted the quiet time to sit and talk with God and get into the Word. To spend some class time reading my Bible. Where people could potentially see me but I didn't care. So I requested the job this morning and got it. And not only did I read my Bible but I also journaled and studied for a test. God took my time and multiplied it. My morning started out TERRIFICALLY. My day has been wonderful after that, only having one other class (which I half slept through because of said 2am awake-ness), eating lunch at Taco Bell with my friend KATE whose birthday it is (and I am SO glad lives in Milledgeville now!!!), taking a nap, going to a class I didn't really have to pay attention in, and coming back to chill at my apartment. Even though I have a headache it's ok. I'm just loving Jesus.

And one of my absolute favorite songs is playing right now. "It is Well With My Soul." I love this song. I love the song behind it; it's incredibly powerful. From www.faithclipart.com:

Horatio Spafford (1828-1888) was a wealthy Chicago lawyer with a thriving legal practice, a beautiful home, a wife, four daughters and a son. He was also a devout Christian and faithful student of the Scriptures. His circle of friends included Dwight L. Moody, Ira Sankey and various other well-known clergymen of the day.

At the very height of his success, Horatio and his wife Anna suffered the tragic loss of their young son. Shortly thereafter on October 8, 1871, the Great Chicago Fire destroyed almost every real estate investment Spafford had.

In 1873, Spafford scheduled a boat trip to Europe, to give his wife and daughters a much needed vacation from tragedy, and so that he might join Moody and Sankey for an evangelistic campaign in England. Spafford sent his wife and daughters on ahead while he remained in Chicago, to take care of some unexpected last minute business. Several days later he received notice that his family's ship had encountered a collision in which all four of his daughters drowned; only his wife had survived.

With a heavy heart, Spafford boarded a boat that would take him to his grieving Anna, in England. It was on this trip that he penned those now famous words, when sorrow like sea billows roll; it is well, it is well with my soul..

Philip Bliss (1838-1876), composer of many songs including Hold the Fort, Let the Lower Lights be Burning, and Jesus Loves Even Me, was so impressed with Spafford's life and the words of his hymn that he composed a beautiful piece of music to accompany the lyrics. The song was published by Bliss and Sankey, in 1876.

I'll end this post with the lyrics to this song, which I feel describe exactly where I am right now: loving Jesus. Desperately. No matter what is happening, it only has served to draw me closer to the arms of Jesus. And I love Him without abandon, for He has my whole heart.

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well (it is well),
With my soul (with my soul),
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to His cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

And Lord haste the day, when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.