Monday, October 19, 2009

Trusting God

So recently, as some of you know, I have been kind of uncertain about the future. I constantly think about where my life is headed after I graduate and slightly panic about the answer. I "know" that I'm headed back to Augusta for grad school (that is, if I get accepted into ASU) but sometimes I worry that this isn't where I'm supposed to be. Yet this is the decision that God has given me peace about, so most of the time I'm ok with that. But other times I look at my life and wonder how I got here.

When I was younger I had such preconceived notions of where I would be when I graduated from college. I didn't think that I would be going to grad school. In fact, I didn't think I would be a psych major. I thought I would be an English major, or a music major, or a math major. I hated science. I cried a little when I found out that Psychology is a science (which was after I had already declared it as my major ... yeah, I'm observant.) I also thought that I would somehow be magically married right after I graduated and not have to actually worry about working. But I didn't know that I would have a passion to work. I didn't know about sex trafficking. I didn't know about those girls and boys who need my help.

I panicked about turning 22. I panicked about being single. I panicked about starting my Senior year of college. I panicked at the thought that one day I won't be the president of Wesley and people will just know me for who I am: Erin. I panicked that they wouldn't just like me or accept me for just me. But all of those things God took care of. I enjoy being 22. I enjoy being single right now. I'm having a great Senior year. I'm excited that I don't have my identity in what I do, but who I am. And I know that people accept me for who I am and not just what I do. Want evidence? I have a whole lot of friends back in Augusta that know me as Erin, just plain Erin. And they LOVE me. I have friends here in Milledgeville that don't care if I do something stupid as president, they still love me the same. And I am so grateful about that.

The main thing that has been impressed upon me recently is to delight in the moment that God has placed me in, and to love the people where I am. If Jesus only thought about when he had to leave people, he never would have loved them. So Milledgeville, I will love you with all the love I can. And when it's time for me to leave, it will be TIME for me to leave. I've had my season here, and it has served its purpose. Not that I want to forget any of you, and I pray that I remain friends with you. But when I leave it will be for God's will and in His timing. Greater things are yet to come. I love you all and am very much looking forward to these last 6.5 months that I have to spend with you.

"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord,' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11

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